I’m Not Going to Follow All the Rules

I’m using my phone to type this up with my daughter asleep on my chest while she fights a fever.

We’ve been without Internet for a couple of weeks now (we’ll get it back soon, reality just bites a big one), so I’ve not even tried to keep up with my blog.

I’m here to talk about the rules set out for child rearing, and other parents’ concerns. Right now, my daughter is 3 months old. Keep that in mind.

First of all, I’ve started bed-sharing. It’s just easier. My daughter gets so picky about her bassinet and her crib isn’t even set up yet. Was I worried about rolling over on her and crushing or smothering her? Of course! But I’ve become a much lighter sleeper since I became a mother. Also, she has a blanket draped over her while she sleeps. If she doesn’t want it, she kicks it off toward her feet. They say to take all the pillows and blankets off the bed if you do bed-share, but I can promise you I’ll have the shittiest of sleeps if I do that. No point in sacrificing my sleep if it means I won’t be able to function well. I should mention that I’m a single parent. It’s just me in that bed with my baby. The pillows are on my side only, I have my own blanket, and she’s down far enough that she doesn’t reach my pillow. I do take precautions, guys, just not the same ones the AAP sets out. I don’t want to be the paranoid, overbearing new mom.

Second, I’m already giving her cereal. Yes, I’m sitting her in a little chair and putting very thin cereal in a spoon and feeding my 3 month old daughter. Her appetite has become more than I can keep up with. She picked up on what to do very quickly, which is a good indication to me that it was time. It’s only in the evening, and it isn’t much. She also breastfeeds or finishes the formula I used for the cereal (sometimes both!). Her stool is normal, just lighter in color.

My daughter holds her head up very well and is gaining more control of her arms and hands. She is developing as she should be and I’m taking feeding cues from her.

They say that doing this contributes to food allergies? My mother fed me cereal at 2 months and I have zero food allergies. My system is just fine. Each person is different, but I need to take my cues from her. She may not know she’s doing it, but that’s because I need to be observant of her.

Third, I will be piercing her ears within this first year. Hear me out: She. Will. Not. Remember.

“You should wait until she can make the decision herself!”

If she doesn’t want to wear earrings when she’s older, then she doesn’t and the holes close up. Simple as that.

“But you’re opening her earlobes up to infections”

Well, yeah, if I don’t clean her freaking ears while they’re healing. I do have a role to play in this. I am her mother and I have to keep her clean.


Don’t want to bed-share? Fine. Don’t.

Don’t want to feed your baby cereal before 6 months? Okeydoke, it’s your child.

Don’t want to pierce your daughter’s ears as a baby? Okay. I can dig it. My mom pierced mine when I was expecting months old because people thought I was a boy all the time. I don’t remember it happening and my ears are fine.

Take your cues from your child, take necessary precautions, and just do what feels right. There is no one right way to raise a child!

Stop the mom-shaming.


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